And when do you think it will all be clear, 'cuz I'm being taken over by the Fear.."- Lily Allen
So it has been a long time since I have been on here. Well it's been a while since I blogged. Or have written anything....in a journal, or anywhere. I hate that. And I love to write!! When I don't write, I feel like I have abandoned a part of myself. Well I guess I just got too uncomfortable in my unhappiness, plus I had gotten back together with Zac, even making the stupid mistake of letting him move into MY place without a job. Well, I finally learned my lesson. He moved out, and I changed the locks. And I have very limited contact with him...if I speak to him at all. And when I finally got to the point where I was done with this relationship that I gave the last 4 yrs of my life to, I had to ask myself; why? Why did I stay with him after he cheated...not once but multiple times? Why did I stay with him after he would get drunk and get violent? Why? Well the only answer I have is that I was more terrified of the devil I didn't know, than the devil I did. I was scared to be alone. Deathly afraid of it. I didn't want to be 30 and single! That was my worst nightmare! I mean, nothing else in my life had worked out, so DAMMIT! I was going to force this relationship to work!!!
Hahah..
Joke was on me.
Well now I am alone, alot. And ironically, I have found that I very much enjoy my own company. Best part is I'm not always alone, but I have a say so in who I spend my time with. And I have met some very interesting people. I'm even dating. I can't say that I'm interested in the slightest in getting into another relationship anytime soon. I'm not at all! I'm really too busy! I have work, and some partying to get out of my system, and most of all I have my show BEER30! I am getting that up and running, and the people I am working with now are fabulous!!
So I guess that's all for now...I promise not to stay away so long next time!!
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